Inklings ~ When the Stress Hits the Fan, Try This
Stores are crowded, everyone is rushing for a deal, and family members know how to push all of those buttons – Welcome to the Holidays! Grab this free meditation to melt that tension headache: https://m.me/irenakmiller?ref=ENGAGE
Conflict and frustrations come hand in hand when time is short and deadlines loom.
So many of my clients feel like they need to push through the pain.
They think, “It’s time to toughen up!”
?Just Buck Up
?Need to Get Through This
Hold on sec…time is precious.
Why waste it on just trying to survive until the clock strikes midnight or some random date finally hits on the calendar?
Try this instead:
✅Check-in with the breath. Is it being held? Bracing for a hit?
✅What are the eyes doing? Does the mirror show eyes that are dim and dull?
✅Before you suffer through the moment, try these 3 steps to release the pain and experience joy in the moment.
These 3 Steps can be done while you’re at the party, in line at the store, or even while making the gravy.
❤️ Step 1:
Notice the length of your inhalation and exhalation. Is the exhale shorter in length?
Take 5 deep and even breaths. Then increase the exhale by one count for 5 more rounds. This will calm the nervous system and lower blood pressure.
Diffuse the situation with color. Just like dining rooms are painted red to help with digestion. And kitchens often have a cheery yellow to pick up spirits. Colors affect us. As the light waves hit the eye, it creates an internal subconscious response. Think of the bull who sees red and goes for it.
What color is on your mind?
Tune in and hear about the color that helps shift a heated room.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Train your eye to find the goodness, the peace, the beauty of the moment you’re experiencing.
Like a gratitude journal, practicing “looking for the good” is immensely powerful in shifting the energy of what comes your way.
⭐️ Stay Sane and Grab the Free Meditation: https://m.me/irenakmiller?ref=ENGAGE
Hello. Hello. Welcome to inklings with Irena, the weekly energy show connecting you to your intuitive guidance system and today it’s all about what to do when the stress hits the fan. It’s just kind of a funny play on words, but there are three very specific things that you can do that you can add into your routine, even in a party or in a social setting. Maybe it’s at a networking conference, that can ease the stress of the moment. If we haven’t met yet, by the way, my name is Irena Miller, I’m an intuitive energy coach and I have been guiding women for over two decades on what to do when stress hits the fan, when these challenging moments pop up, how they can move through the moment with grace, with ease, with just a feeling of joy. Because too often what happens is when I’m talking with clients in the very beginning and they’re telling me about the conferences they have coming up, the different positions, volunteer positions, that they’re a part of, the boards that they’re on,
there are stressful moments and I hear over and over and over that phrase that keeps being repeated is I just need to get through this. You know, when I get to the end of this year, then I’ll be able to breathe a little bit easier because it’s just a challenging moment. Now these are highly educated women who have degrees in all sorts of wonderful, logically mindseted, uh, what do I want to say? But you know, engineers, executives, national sales people who are very mindful and very aware and they don’t want to wish their life away. They don’t want to survive. They want to thrive in the moment. And that’s part of the reason they’re coming to me. They’re awake and aware of this. But at the same time, it’s still that feeling of I just need to get through this, you know, buck up, you know, you can do this or just push through the pain.
It’s you’re almost there. You know? So often those things I hear on repeat when I’m first beginning to work with my clients. So what I want to do is I want to share with you what I’ve been sharing with them over the years so that it doesn’t have to be one of these things where the joy and the easefulness comes at a later date or time. And many of us are already aware of that. We want to enjoy this moment now and live life to its fullest, but our actions aren’t mirroring and matching our words and our heart’s intention. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. So the very first thing I invite anyone to do when the stress hits the fan is take a moment to just breathe. You know that all the ties, you know, before you say anything, take five or 10 deep breaths.
It really is an important and powerful practice. Now, why is that so often when people are bucking up or just pushing through to get through the moment because there is a difficult conversation that needs to be had or it’s a networking event that maybe there’s not much enthusiasm of going or it’s an uncomfortable situation where you, you know, it’s a moment where there are people in the audience that maybe are not the nicest to you. So what to do in that situation is check in with your breath. Your breath is your life force. And when we’re bucking it up, we have a tendency to brace. We have a tendency to hold like where we’re getting ready for the hit. We’re getting ready for the punch and we hold our breath. That’s going to make the moment much more challenging. Our energy gets pulled up, we feel more anxious, our nervous system is definitely not calm.
So I want to invite everyone who is in that moment of stress to notice your breath. Is the breath moving through the body or is it being held? The second aspect of that is just the lengths. It’s a little bit more of the advanced detail to notice the length of the inhale and the exhale. So is the inhalation longer than the exhale and that’s a sure sign that your energy is getting pulled up, up, up, and it’s going to put you into a fight or flight response. And it’s going to add stress to the moment. Elaina, how fantastic to have you. Welcome, welcome. And Amanda, welcome. As you jump on, say a quick hello. Let me know where you’re watching from. I love to know who’s tuning in from around the world. So breath, breath is the first place to go. And this is something that can be done easily when you’re in conversation with someone while they’re talking, just notice your breath.
Are you holding your breath? Are you becoming red in the face or blue in the face? Breathe. Start to encourage the breath, the inhale and the exhale, to become even in length. Now the next aspect of this to help you in the stress hits the fan is color. So maybe you’ve heard phrases like, you know, Ooh, they were seeing red or you know, the bull chases after the red or… Red is a fun color. It’s popping up a lot today for me. Maybe people paint their dining rooms red because they hear how it helps with digestion. It’s wonderful for increasing appetite or a cheery, bright yellow kitchen to lift your spirits. Colors have an effect, so you might decide to incorporate a little bit of color into the situation and here’s the interesting and exciting thing.
Color doesn’t have to necessarily be worn or seen or visible to have a positive effect on yourself or anyone around you. This is one of the best, most fabulous techniques. It’s kind of one of these insider’s secrets, a tip that I’m sharing with you that I normally reserved just for my clients that I learned from my very, very dear energy teacher, the one that I apprenticed with for three years studying at her feet, learning, learning. And she shared with me, imagine yourself standing out in the sunshine and this beautiful golden Ray of light washes over your body. And what will happen is when you imagine that golden light around you, like you’re in a little golden bubble, it will diffuse the intensity of the conversation. I have had such miracles happen when I just envisioned myself in a golden bubble. It’s hysterical. But this tip alone will save such heartache and you can use it where it doesn’t cost much.
And what I mean by that is that, for example, one of the times when I used this, I was in line at a pharmacy and the weather was, you know, decent and it was pleasant outside and I decided, okay to be quick, I’m going to go to the outside pharmacy window. And I lined up in front of a man and who was in front of me. And then there was a woman behind me and we were waiting and we were waiting and we were waiting. And all of a sudden the guy in front of us just had it and he started pounding on the pharmacist window and he was so aggravated and irate, he just started yelling and I started to get a little concerned because the anger was escalating and I looked at the woman behind me and we kind of exchanged a look basically kind of, you know, one of these mental telepathy moments.
Like maybe we should go inside. It’s getting a little dangerous out here. And I realized I wasn’t in imminent danger, you know, if you are, get the heck out of Dodge. So I decided to utilize one of my energy practices and I grounded and I imagined myself in that golden bubble. And the most amazing thing happened, this man in front of me who had been yelling and shouting and screaming and pounding on the window. All of a sudden it was just like somebody took the air out of the bubble and he deflated and he turned and he looked at myself and the woman behind me and he said, I am in so much pain, it hurts so badly to be standing here. And I thought it would be faster at the outside window. They’re just ignoring us and I need to sit down so desperately.
Who would know that that anger was coming from a place of such hurt in such pain and when the moment was diffused, just by simply imagining that golden light, it was amazing. Right? That definitely had a positive effect on the situation. Next thing you know, the pharmacist came to the window, she opened it, she filled his order and he went on his way. But it was just that moment of diffusing tension. So if that alone is the only thing you remember in this moment, it is one that will change your life for the better forever. Now, the final one I want to talk about, and hello Murphy, I’m glad you’re here. So the final one I want to talk about, which is also a fabulous technique, is it has to do with the eyes. And I want to encourage you when there’s a stressful moment going on, notice what your eyes are doing.
If it’s a conversation with a stinker or Buster, are your eyes darting around, are you looking somewhere else? Are you glaring? What are the eyes doing? Because that will tell you a lot. The other thing too is to notice the light in your eyes. If they’ve turned out, if they’ve gotten dim, that means you’ve checked out, you’ve checked out of the party, and to deal with stress in that way, it’s not the most effective. So the breathing, the deep breathing is going to turn the light back on in your eyes and get you in the present moment so that you’re less likely to get energetically whacked. And then finally, when you’re using your eyes, I want to encourage anyone and everyone in a stressful moment to go back to that phrase, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And there’s a moment in time, no matter how stressful that we can find the good in the moment.
This is something that was a lesson that was passed down to me from my great aunts who were nuns via my mom, uh, was to always find the good to always see the good. And it reminds me very much of that practice of gratitude. You hear so often about the attitude of gratitude, practicing and writing in the journals. What are we grateful for? But what about cultivating our eye to see the beauty even in the stinkiest most challenging of moments? Can we find one aspect or thing that’s beautiful about the situation or good that’s beautiful or good about the person that that’s being engaged with? Because here’s the thing that shifts the experience. It shifts the energy that you’re putting off, that they’re experiencing. You know, there’s an old out of date way to protect yourself against bad vibes. Um, that really just creates more harm than good.
It’s that imagining of the mirror up and reflect back the energy that they’re sending to you so they know what they’re doing to you. But what happens is they get whacked with their own junk and they don’t realize that it’s theirs. They think it’s you sending them bad stuff. So woo, you know, diffuse with golden light. I’m going to just diffuse that bomb to begin with and we’re going to reflect back something of beauty that we see in the moment. And that person is going to feel, Oh, they’re going to feel that beauty like wow. You know, and Oh Kim, thank you. So, Oh, thank you. About my hair. Right? So that’s you reflecting beauty back to me. And I thank you and I reflect that beauty back to you as well. That goodness that we see in the moment. It elevates the energy of the whole room.
The light comes on in your eyes and the stressful moments begin to dissolve. So these are three tips that I highly, highly encourage to be woven into any stressful moment, especially in a crowd because it can easily be done to help diffuse the stress. Number one was, Oh, what was number one? I’m forgetting now. Breathe. Don’t forget the breath. It’s automatic. We tend to forget it. Breathe, nice, deep, even breaths. You can even increase the exhale by one count as a little bit of an advanced technique. And then take a moment and tune into the color, the golden light, and from the golden light, move into beauty. Beauty in the eye of the beholder. I’m having so much fun. I’ve totally ungrounded. Can you tell? I can’t remember my list. I’m glad I brought my notebook to remind me. So enjoy, enjoy. Have an amazing day.
And for those of you who are watching this live and are celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday here in the States, please know how grateful I am that you’re here. I’m filled, filled, filled with such love and such gratitude to have this time with you. May you have a blessed, blessed holiday that is free of unhelpful stress. All right, so much love to you and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Thank you Kim, for coming in. And thank you, Amanda. The extra glow. Yay. That’s because of you guys. I love seeing you so much. Love bye guys. Bye Kim. Thanks for joining in and Murphy and Elena. Bye.