The 3 Words That Extinguish Hope



Hello, Hello and Welcome to Inklings with Irena. The Weekly Energy show connecting you to your Intuitive Guidance System.

And today I want to talk about the three words that extinguish hope if we haven’t met yet my name is Irena Miller. I’m an Intuitive Energy Guide, Spiritual Life Coach, and then what I call an Energy Alchemist. I love to draw upon my background in decision sciences and management information systems and blend that with my two and a half decades studying of all things spiritual. Certified as a yoga teacher, certified card reader, initiated as a Reiki master, I pull together from a variety of disciplines to bring together specific energy recipes for you. And that’s what I want to do today, because over the years working with my clients, these particular three words have come up over and over. And I see how on an energetic level, it’s like scars in their auric field. It weighs them down. It desensitizes them. It numbs them to a certain degree. Now, I want to back up a little bit and say that initially these three words provided a great coping mechanism. It was a wonderful skill for survival in the moment. And yet if we say things often enough or we hear them often enough, we start to believe it. You know, our subconscious, as a wonderful teacher of mine says is always listening. So it’s good to cheer yourself on, you know. So I want to dive into this because you might be wondering what these three words are. So I’m keeping you hanging on a little bit before I do the big reveal. But, you know, how do they come up in situations? Well, often I find it’s around decision making time and usually with groups of people.

Now, many of the clients I work with, they’re empathic visionaries. They have big feelings, big dreams, big hearts. And sometimes maybe they’re called, you know, extra sensitive. They’re taking things too personally. Why do you make such a big deal out of it? And, you know, the people that they’re around may not be as energetically tuned in yet. And what happens is situations like this. So I had a client who had wonderfully been able to travel overseas and wanted to see a very historic museum. And they were with a group of people who said, oh, a dusty old museum. You know, now she was backpacking across Europe with college kids and the kids she was with did not want to stop in and hang out at the Louvre. And needless to say, my client, you know, at that moment in time, what would she do? She didn’t know if she was ever going to get back to France to see this beautiful, historic space. What do you do in a situation like that? Or I had another client who, you know, had a wonderful opportunity to visit Disney World and they really wanted to ride one particular ride that had an extremely long line. It always does. It’s not maybe the most exciting ride in the place. It’s a small world, you know, that’s a great one, right? But the people they were with said uhh the line is so long, that’s a baby ride. Why would we want to do that? And that was the one opportunity.

Right. You know, that client hasn’t been back since. Or maybe it’s just simply getting a picture taken somewhere. There’s that wonderful historic sign I know in Vegas where you can get your picture taken. And the line sometimes for that is extremely long or the southernmost tips and points of places, you know, where Devil’s Bridge, you know, in Arizona, I have a friend who really wanted to get a picture there, had to wait in line. But many times what empaths do is they don’t want to rock the boat. Oh, I had another client. I wanted to share this one because this was important. This really cut deep to my heart. They were moving across state lines and they had this very beautiful rosebush that was an heirloom from their family lineage. The grandmother had given a cutting to her mom, the mom, had given a cutting to her. And at the time, my client had small children and they were packing up. And as moves go, things got confusing. And they said to someone, please, in their family, please make sure this gets on the moving truck, this beautiful rosebush. It’s important to me, but, it wasn’t forgotten, they were blatantly ignored in that moment, and when that happens, essentially what we as empaths experience is, we’re not being seen, we’re not being heard. Our voice isn’t important. We’re essentially not being respected. And those three words that come up at that point that my clients have used and myself included, it doesn’t matter.

You know, it doesn’t matter, and as I say that, can you feel your whole energy shift and change when that pops up?

Now, initially, we need some kind of coping skill to get through that moment so that the regret and the hurt of not being seen doesn’t overwhelm and eat us up. But I want to provide you today with updated tools and techniques that you can use so that you can catch yourself when you say it doesn’t matter.

Because you know what? It does matter. You matter.

I see you! In an energetic sense, maybe not through the camera. Did you ever see Romper Room? Way back when. I used to love that, I was like, please call my name. And Irena, was a strange one. So I didn’t hear that. But regardless, I want to encourage you to know that that you do matter, that your feelings, your wishes. And, yes, there are moments where we have to compromise. Maybe we don’t have the time to wait in line because we’ve got to catch a flight or or the like. So, you know, everything in its right time and right place. But this is a pattern that I’ve seen over and over again with big hearted empaths. Now, what’s happening here on an energetic level, that’s what I want to dive into and give you my special Irena’s Energy Recipe moving forward so that you can claim your voice, stand your ground, hold your power, because often in these situations, our energy field has shrunk. So I call this the bibbity bobbity boo. And I want to say bittity, boppity boo. So it’s not not quite like Cinderella’s. So no copyright infringement, hopefully it’s not too close. But just to be playful and fun, because that’s the way our subconscious will remember things and our subconscious is what kicks in when we go into like a shock moment. Fight or flight, Yes, but also that moment where maybe we’re caught off guard. It’s what we’ve practiced that comes to save us. That’s why, you know, doing like a practice on the yoga mat. We go to a yoga studio where everything’s calm and peaceful and it’s a controlled environment because we learn these very specific practices to help us cope and how to thrive in chaotic situations off the mat.

It’s kind of like doing training, like boot camp. You do boot camp and it’s a controlled situation. But then you go out into the world and you have to be prepared. You’re as prepared as can be. But it’s like when everything hits the fan. What do you do? Do you lose yourself or do you stay focused and present? So that’s kind of what these energy recipes are meant to do.

And I do so in a playful way, kind of like stop, drop and roll. We remember that easily from childhood. What to do if you catch on fire? Stop, drop and roll.

So that’s why I say bibbity, bobbity boo. So what you can do in that moment where you feel like you are not being seen or heard rather than use the phrase, “it doesn’t matter”, because it does matter. PS

First one Be You.

That probably sounds like a cop out, right? (You’re like I think I bought that t shirt a couple of years back Irena.)Now, I use Be You Because what that means is it’s a quick little reminder for you to check your energetic field after, you know you have a conversation with someone that’s the second one. Be mindful. Just notice what shifts in your energy field. This is so wonderful to see with kids if you have small children or heck, even teenagers. Heck, even yourself. My mom used to drive me nuts with this one, she used to get mad at me. But after you’ve been hanging out with someone for a while, do you notice, like you pick up their accent or you pick up their body language a little bit, or maybe just their mannerisms, their energy, it rubs off and it rubs off very easily. So one thing that’s important to notice is when we say it doesn’t matter, often we’re giving our power away. We’re not having a strong, energetic field and boundary. So the first thing is, Be You, notice where does my energy field end and where does it begin? And you can do that just by imagining that field around you. I’ve got a lot of techniques that go really deep into this, but you can just begin with noticing do I feel like myself?

Because that’s something that came up with my clients after these decisions were made. They’d say things like, you know, I just didn’t feel like myself. If I were in my right mind, I never would have made that decision. So be you check your energy field. The be mindful is that second be. And the reason for being mindful is when you talk with certain people, do you feel energized after talking with them or do you feel like the life has been drained out of you? Do you feel any physical aches and pains? Some people are literally a pain in the tushie or pain in the neck. Catch yourself if you say that too.

Because that’s important to take note of. And then the final B is Be Vigilant and what do I mean by that? Take time to care for your spirit, to feed your spirit.

Often when we get to that point where we say it doesn’t matter, we’re exhausted, we’re battle weary, we’re fatigued, it’s like, oh, I just don’t have it in me to fight anymore. You know, I don’t want to rock the boat. Like, let me just keep the peace. It doesn’t matter. It does matter. It does. You matter. So be you check your auric field, say, what’s my energy doing? Do I have a hole in my work field? Do I have a snare? A tag is somebody according to me, do I feel crushed in on one side. Kind of like a little limp biscuit. Can I go on forever? Then be mindful. How do people affect your energy? Even television shows, movies, books. How do you feel after reading them? There’s definitely some things I cannot watch because it impacts my auric field so much that it throws me. And then finally Be Vigilant in caring for your spirit.

Because when your spirit is spent, that’s a different energy boost than a good night’s rest. That’s important. Yes. Then self care. It’s different than self care, you know, massages, bubble baths, walks in the park. Whatever self care is to you, feeding your spirit is different.

Feeding your spirit is taking time to sit underneath an apple tree or to listen to music that, oh, you feel your whole chest open or it’s taking time in a sacred space and feeling fed.

It’s different.

So if this has brought up more questions for you, than answers definitely click the link. Let’s continue the conversation. This is my joy to share these very sacred practices with you and what an honor it is to talk with you all today.

I hope that you are doing well wherever you are in the world. And let me know if there is a place that you had hoped to visit one day. I just have that in the back of my mind. Like a once upon a time, I create a bucket list of sacred sites I wanted to visit. So I’m curious, are there sacred sites that you would be curious to visit? Pop them in the comments below. Share with me and I will catch up.

On the flip side. Christine, thanks so much for joining us. Oh, you waited to hear your name, too. Oh, I’m so glad you know the show I’m talking about. Lots of love, everyone.

I’ll catch you on the flip side. Bye, guys.

Strong Core Encore!

If you have ever canoed with someone, it becomes clear very quickly that a harmony and rhythm must be found.  Or you could end up going round and round in circles.  Or one person feels like they’re doing all the work.  Maybe one person just isn’t steering in the right direction.  I’ve heard relationships are made or destroyed when it comes to paddling!